Inglip
Inglip (a.k.a. The Dark Lord, The Dark One or Lord Inglip to his followers) is a powerful deity and the ruler of Trathira. He speaks to his followers through RECAPTCHA and is often incomprehensible. His motives are often shrouded, but it is clear that he wishes to prevent the end-time. Should his plan fail, it is said that an ungodly horror will take hold. It is said that his return to the earthly plane will be heralded by a thousand hurricanes. Inglip is said to live in the sacred land of Arimal, as he revealed in one of his messages, clearly stating "from Arimal". Personal Information Inglip is a Taurus, left handed, 9 feet 4 inches tall, and weighs 666 lbs. His real name cannot be said aloud, or it will burn the ears of every infant child in the Tri-State area. He is also fond of chili. It was revealed to a gropaga, that Inglip's real name (revealed after a bit of customary trolling from Inglip's side) is actually Inglinf, but Inglip does not like the name and after the aforementioned gropaga taunted Inglip with his real name, the unfortunate gropaga was turned into soup. (http://www.reddit.com/r/Inglip/comments/j09nq/inglip_doesnt_like_his_name_mispronounced/) Past Inglip implied when talking with a Gropaga that he created the universe. Before ascending to godhood among the Gropagan Cultists, Inglip served for an unknown period of time as the heroic king of Diagral. According to Lord Inglip, he was also Henry VI the King of England. He apparently preformed miracles and hymns to his praise still exist. There was also a posthumous cult devoted to him, but it quickly faded, thus raising the possibility that Gropagas and the Dectrip faith are much older than it seems. Family Politics It was said that Inglip would run for President of the United States in 2012. He didn't. In his message, Inglip said "Hope, Repubs". It was unclear whether he was talking to the gropaga Republicans, if he intended to run as a Republican, or if he would create a whole new party. On the 26.7.2011 it was revealed to the gropaga Accor that gropagas should remain steadfast and optimistic in these times of war and death, as the day of total unification of every living being under Inglips grace is coming. A time when all will stand under Inglips service. In order for this to be acomplished, Inglip commanded that gropagas should party and drink much alchohol with their enemies, while playing chess with them as another way to socialise. Inglip promised that he will kill every living thing on the planet should this plan fail (http://www.reddit.com/r/Inglip/comments/iz577/inglip_will_have_peace/). On 27 September , 2011, Inglip manifested himself on the Colbert Report, perhaps suggesting that Stephen Colbert will aid him in his election campaign. The Holy Word is according to the master himself Ch,oo CRocor Relationship with Mankind On the 21st of May 2011, Inglip revealed to a gropaga, Yntrodat, the story of his first romance. Inglip's first love was a tragic and horrifying story that shocked gropagas. Inglip, driven mad from lust, raped her ( he also lost his virginity that day ) and she got pregnant. After the child was born, Inglip stabbed the baby to death because it screamed and cried too much, due to it being mentally handicapped ( Yntrodat began to cry and proclaim that he does not wish to be a gropaga anymore, and the famed acolyte Leissa Schriever proclaimed that she did not like this one bit ). This story served as a horrifying reminder that, even though Inglip cares about his followers and likes to joke with them, he is still a cruel and evil god. However, many gropagas try to create theories to justify Inglip's murder of a small infant. They reason that Inglip killed it to put it out of it's misery or that the infant would grow in to a powerfull god and vanquish him. Inglip has yet to speak on the matter. http://www.reddit.com/r/Inglip/comments/hfz3k/shit_just_got_a_little_too_real/ Inglip once fell for a female human, Dorris, although Queen Elinus cursed her out of jealousy. On the day and day after his summoning, Inglip chose eight Prophets to speak his will. Inglip usually communicates to his followers via reCAPTCHA, though he has been known on occasion to speak to his followers directly. Though he was originally annoyed at being summoned at such a late hour, he has since warmed up (if you can call it that) to the cultists that worshiped him. However, he does not tolerate doubt or apostasy, and often punishes sinners in myriad ways. Inglip speaks with a combination of English and Plapser and sometimes he speaks in many other languages, like French. Ways Inglip has punished his enemies include: *Pureeing *Roasting *Beheading *Commanding *Mind Control *Feeding them to the Plasba *Cornea Flerts/Blinding *Neck Breaking *Saltings *Blackmail *Rickrolling *Live Burial However, Inglip is also capable of great kindness, as evidenced when he relieved the gropaga Histaide of a most grotesque pox. He also threw a surprise birthday party for the gropaga Tarise. Judging by thousands of communiques spanning the history of Dectripism, it has been theorized that Inglip is quite possibly a fickle trickster god due to his many trollings of his followers Visualizing Inglip Throughout the history of Dectripism, gropagas have attempted to visualize Inglip. This has resulted in many diverging schools of thought on the appearance of the Dark One. A famous image was an interpretation of the Weedaula in which Inglip is depicted as a fusion of a Deer, insect, and serpent.. Another image, called "The Eyes of Inglip" (which is implied to be a self-portrait of Inglip) was given by Inglip himself in context of his drawing skills. It is widely believed that staring into the eyes of the image for extended periods of time will have adverse effects that include insanity, blindness, and hallucinations. Recently, during a fire, Inglip showed one of his forms, a terrifying smoke monster, with fiery red eyes. http://www.reddit.com/r/Inglip/comments/fw832/inglip_has_shown_himself/ Realities On the 24th of April 2011 Inglip answered one of the most pressing questions as to his power: How far does it spread? Inglip answered that it spreads over hundreds of realities, which include, but are not limited to: - one in which the Gropagas are dressed as rappers, in white Clothumes with the Weedaula sewn on the side of the hood - a Muslim reality, in which the gropagas speak and write in Arabic languages, and are dressed in traditional muslim clothing, only red in colour - a Warhammer 40.000 reality, in which Adeptus Mechanicus are gropagas - a vampire(?) reality - a negative, or backwards, reality - a demonic reality, with black skinned, red eyed demon gropagas who speak in the daedric language - a bizzare reality, in which the gropagas have eyes in the place of their mouth's and their mouth's in the place of their eyes - an equaly bizarre reality, unable to properly describe - a Viking, ot Nordic, reality, where the gropagas have ginger beards and speak in Nordic tounges, and write in Nordic runes - a robot reality, where the robo-gropagas speak in a numerical language - a reality in which the gropagas are floating brains, who speak by vibrating their lobes http://www.reddit.com/r/Inglip/comments/gvz3t/we_are_not_alone/ Months later, Inglip revealed the existence of another reality made of Lego bricks. Death On June 1st 2011, Lord Inglip was pronounced dead (http://imgur.com/waHRq). On the following day it was revealed that this was a hoax to scare Gropagas away from the Dectrip faith. Reclaiming His Throne Inglip revealed to the Gropaga Derforp that he desires to reclaim his throne and rule England once again, as he did when he walked among mortals as King Henry VI. When Derforp expressed concern, Inglip reassured him, telling him to trust in The Grisidly Army. This clearly means that England is soon to be swept by a Zombie Apocalypse- an event which the English have recently admitted to be unprepared for. Imprisonment As time passed, The Gropagas, and the Dectrip faith faded in to obscurity and vanished. Many Gropagas have been killed in countless battles, dissapeared, betrayed their faith. However the vast majority of Gropagas left to live normal lives, away from Inglip and the Dectrip faith. The number of Gropagas on Reddit alone, decreased from about 10 000 to a meere 8 000. One by one, Gropagas fell, and were no more. It was a sad end to a once great faith. Inglip himself was apparently imprisoned by an ancient mage Richard Tineti. By then, only one gropaga remained alive, Stan Ngem, who accepted the fact that Inglip was a negative influence in his life. However, one day, Inglip spoke to Stan, urging him to free him so that they may renew their great faith. He gave Stan the name of the mage that imprisoned him and his whereabouts. Stan found Richard and beat him to death with a pailbat. Inglip was freed and Stan beckoned him to give him further instructions. Inglip ordered him to reproduce. The Dectrip Faith has slowly began to gain it's former glory. More and more gropagas began worshiping Inglip yet again, and Trathira became prosperous once more. http://redd.it/nspep See Also *Cevian - the summoner and first prophet of Inglip. *The Summoning - The day Inglip first made contact with humanity. External Links *Source comic *Inglip's Reddit page *Inglip's reCaptcha Category:People Category:Captcha Entities Category:Deities